Jaded
by pohae
Summary: a stronger Bella. After building a wall around her heart, can anyone prove themselves trustworthy enough to break through...and if they do break through, will they be strong enough to earn her love and trust in return? AU/AH - S.M. owns all


"You ready?" he asked. I looked into the face of a man I had just met about 45 minutes ago. I nodded and he took a towel to my perspiring forehead. "Remember, he's got an awesome left. Dance into him, strike and get out. Lord knows his reach must be close to double yours." I nodded again to make sure he knew I was paying attention. These guys were all the same. Pay them $500 to be in your corner of the ring and they all either treat you like you don't know what the hell you're doing…or try and talk you into some sense. C'mon, I'm here, asked you if you wanted the 'job', brought all of my things, some of these guys have even seen me in action before. I guess when you've got boobs, they automatically think you're brains are mush or something. Oh yeah…it might have been the fact that I was underground fighting for a living. Yeah, that might be it.

I asked nameless guy to walk outside and stay outside of my door. I just needed a few minutes to center myself. I knew who would really have my back tonight. They should be out there and waiting. I wonder how brother dear and his friends will like tonight's show. He's going to be so pissed. Oh well, you can't have lived my life without any repercussions. Besides, this was the _best_ anger management classes EVER. I closed my eyes and went back to my happy place.

"_Bella Bear!" I ran to the happy voice. I hadn't heard it in person in almost 2 years now._

"_Emm!!!!!" I screamed and he grabbed me into a ginormous bear hug._

"_This is going to be the best summer EVER. I can't believe we finally got Mom and Dad to agree to all of this."_

_I nodded my head in agreement. Emmett was a year older than I was and his 16 to my 15 was a big leap when you consider that he could drive already. Not to mention the fact that he was about 6 feet tall already. He was a BIG guy. Of course Charlie gave me the standard parental hug and mumble "Hey Bells…"_

_This summer was shaping up to be one of the best times of my life. I spent the summer with not only Emmett, but also with his neighbors, Edward and Alice Cullen. They were really nice Edward and Emmett were the same age. Alice and I were the same age. Everyone got along and we did everything together._

_Eventually late night talks and spending so much time together kind of caught up with Edward and I. Something was forming and I didn't know if I had been imagining all of the signs, or if they were really there. Another Happy Memory came floating to the top._

"_Bella, I don't know if you realize how much I feel for you." Edward said. He was slowly reaching for my hand as we walked from his house to mine. Charlie had been working all summer (typical) and wasn't even around much. I guess that's why Renee had never felt comfortable with me coming here for the summer until recently. Emmett had gone home earlier saying that he was tired from our hike earlier today. Alice had fallen asleep on the couch while we were watching a movie. Esme and Carlisle were at a benefit dinner for the hospital._

_I looked down towards my toes as I felt my blush come up over my cheeks. I saw his hand reach out to mine and tenderly pull it to his chest. I followed our linked hands to his chest when his other hand came and cupped my face. He gently pulled it up to his and I felt the lightest kiss on my lips. I felt him move closer and press his chest to mine. Arms came around me and I could feel him leaning into me, surrounding me. The smallest amount of pressure was on the top of my head. A kiss? I felt and heard him as he inhaled deeply with his face still in my hair. I took my arms and wrapped them around him slowly….ever so slowly. A small smile escaped my lips and I closed my eyes. I sighed as his embrace grew tighter. "Ditto, Edward…Ditto"_

"You ready?" Ugh…nameless face man was back. I nodded again in his direction and started gathering my things. My hands were already wrapped and I checked my hair and clothes. Yeah, I might be _fighting_ but I was still a girl…geez. I put my head down and started walking from the room. I had to center myself, my anger. I slowly breathed in and out, in and out. I rolled my neck and thought…_James. James. James._

As we neared the pit where tonight's events was taking place, we stopped so the fight before mine could finish. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. That summer was the end of my naïveté. I knew the truth about the male species after that. They were selfish beings. They were only capable of feelings that were in their interest. Their goals were their happiness. And to hell with anything and everything else. That was the summer that I was given the gift of love and taught the lessons of regret, remorse and guilt. That was the summer that my blinded eyes found reality. When Edwards _real_ girlfriend Tanya came home from her summer trip with some extended family, my world crashed. I had run over to their house after waking one morning. We hadn't told anyone about our relationship because we didn't want it to ruin any friendships we had made between the four of us.

I had seen Alice and Esme head off to town and Emmett was still asleep. When I ran downstairs I saw a car pull up to their curb. I hadn't seen this car before. I slowed and stood in the windows in front of our house. I watched as a beautiful blond girl ran out from the car towards Edwards front door. I cried when I saw his arms – _my arms – _wrap around her. I _broke_ when I saw their lips come together in a kiss.

I turned around and walked zombie like to my room. I was leaving in 4 days. 4 days.

I heard the crowd roar signaling the closure of the fight before mine. I slowly glanced out and saw Rosie. I smirked a little when I saw about a dozen guys staring at her. My backup was here. Rosalie and Jasper had my back ever since the end of that stupid summer. The Hale twins moved next door during my first (and last) forks summer. After hiding in the house for four days and faking a stomach cold. I finally went home. Alice came to visit and say goodbye once, but I never saw Edward after that morning. Emmett was clueless about everything but never thought twice about anything. Thank goodness for little favors.

When I went back to Phoenix I went back to my life pre-edward. This time I saw things through new eyes. I was realistic with my expectations. I thought I knew what to expect from men. I thought wrong.

"You got your game face on?" Nameless guy hollered over the noise. I looked at him and sighed. They were always the same.

"Sure." I said. I rolled my shoulders to loosen up more. We slowly started out towards the ring in the center of the pit. Time for the games to begin.

**A/N: New story…just a story going through my head for some time now. Let me know if you guys like it. It's revolving slowly in my brain, but some feedback would be wonderful. 10 reviews will probably make me want to post chapter 2…hehehe**

**As always S.M. owns all…**


End file.
